Confessions of a fake dog trainer

I recently made the leap to professional dog training. By recently, I mean about 4 months ago. If you are a Facebook friend, or even, in some cases, a family member, this is news, because I haven't exactly been shouting it from the roof tops.

Truth be told, I find my new job embarrassing. Not the dog training part. Well, actually, yes kinda, that part too.

Mostly it's the venue. See, I took a job as a dog trainer at (a big box store). That, for some reason, is the crux of the embarrassment, after all, what 40+ year old takes a job at a big box store?

I've run businesses for myself and others. I've been in management in one form or another for twenty plus years, and here I am, starting all over at a job that would've been cool when I was twenty, but I'm treating it like a dirty secret because I'm 40 (+).

I keep telling myself that this job isn't my real job. My real job is writing, and this dog training gig is just to keep me from trying to have conversations with houseplants, get me out of the house, introduce me to new challenges, etc...

That, is of course, horse shit. I needed the money that writing wasn't providing; I was sick and tired of the personalities and hours of the veterinary profession, and I wanted something new.

And now, shhhhhhh.... It's a secret!!

Some of this stems from the whiff of retail, a job I have never had. The other is that a big box dog trainer is not a real dog trainer.

I know real dog trainers (many of whom - again - know nothing of this dirty new career path I've chosen). I respect real dog trainers. I have worked with, mooched advice from, and generally lurked in the same circles with real dog trainers for the past 15 years or so. They all know more than I do.

So, there's that. I'm also a poser. Sure, I trained horses professionally for over a decade, and at that I really was qualified, and also very talented. Then I worked in veterinary hospitals for 15 years, speaking to clients about behavior, and learning the clues to avoid getting myself bit. But neither of those exactly qualifies me to train anyone's dog.

I know, intellectually that I am a passable dog trainer, and that because I study and bother others incessantly for advice, I will eventually be a good one. But in the interim, let's just keep this to ourselves, what do you say?